Start Small (Your People)

Who are your people? I've been mulling this question over again as I've thought about our ongoing conversation about starting small. The people we choose to give access to along the way can have a profound impact on where we end up, after all. Perhaps, like me, you've had someone counsel you to choose your friends and advisors wisely. But I wonder: How is that going for you today? 

A few years ago, a friend and I got together to catch up as we do from time to time. During that dialogue, he pointed out a pretty massive truth to me which, in short, was that I didn't actually have many real friends. Sure, I had a lot of people in and around my life but in the end, many of them were people I gave to without receiving much in return. And mostly, I'd set it up that way. (Yikes.) His words struck a deep chord within me and set me in a new direction with a fresh intention: identify what a real friend is for me, search them out and let them in.

I'm going to make an important note here before moving along... These people mentioned above are valuable. I consider it an honor to have poured into them, so as I took new steps forward, I didn't seek to minimize them in any way or cut ties. But, I needed to notice what was true of my relationships and live from a new perspective, putting healthy boundaries in place. These decisions freed me to thrive relationally and continue to pour out into others.

Since that time I've made intentional choices with regard to my inner circle. Different seasons also provide different people, so I've kept that in mind. Those who have up-close access to me these days are people with whom I experience a reciprocal relationship. It's not that I keep tabs on how much each of us is giving/receiving, but I do walk in an observant awareness to ensure I'm not falling back into my old habits. I need people in my life who love and support me; and you do, too.

• Who "sees" you and encourages you?
• Who helps you to think through how to take your next step forward?
• Who reaches out to check in on you?
• Who tells you the truth with love, even when it's hard to hear?
• Who sticks with you as you seek transformation?
• Who invites you to share more about your dreams and cheers you on?
• Who tangibly shows up to help with their time, resources and talent?
• Who makes time for you?
• And hey, who makes you laugh? (Seriously.)

In 2017, and for the first time ever on my strategic plan, I wrote down the names of the people I wanted to spend time with during the year. I laughed when I did it because it felt so formal, but I knew it was my right next step in this process. I included a few categories:

• People who are more mature and experienced than I am in business. They are helping me to live a whole life while building my companies.
• People who stick with me and come to mind as I ask myself the above questions. My people!
• People who are life-giving and genuinely fun to be around. Even if I don't get much time with them, it's time well-spent.

I love my list and I'm thankful for the people I have for this season. 

Truth be told, as I wrote names down I did experience some guilt thinking of a dear friend or two that I didn't include on it. That said, I realized that sometimes even the people we love aren't life-giving for us and/or sometimes they aren't meant to be walking closely with us right now and that's okay. When we can acknowledge and live in what is presently true, it frees us to continue to love well through our seasons. In order to do so, we need the life-giving people, though. Like, MUST HAVE them. Then we have the support we need so we can be present and pour out in our other relationships.

So maybe today you answer the questions above and write out a list. Maybe you take stock of your current relationships and notice those who pour into you and those you give to regularly. Perhaps you make some new decisions about who you'll invite in as you take your small steps to achieve your big dreams while thanking everyone along the way. Let's keep our eyes wide open and notice our supporters and those we need to ask to join us on our journey. We can't do it without them, after all. 

Start Small (Dream Big)

Last time we talked about the small beginning. Brick by brick we build, hopefully celebrating our progress along the way. But, what if we've lost sight of where we're going or why we're going there? Or, what if we haven't taken the opportunity to actually dream about the possibilities of what could be? OR, what if we know what could be but we're still stuck somehow? So many questions!

If your life is like mine, you probably have a lot going on. Setting aside time to process your dreams, or to actively think about what you hope for in the future, isn't always high on the priority list. I get that. Stephen Covey talks about the "tyranny of the urgent" and I understand him to mean that, without great intentionality, the work of putting out fires will consume our energy and our focus. Some of us have more flexible time on our hands, though. In that case, perhaps our struggle is knowing how to use our time well because we lack direction, clear tactics, or maybe we experience a paralyzing fear that what we think will work, won't. In either scenario, we're likely missing key opportunities to move forward.

I've found myself in the latter camp these past few months. Afforded with flexible time, I've actually found myself making the decision to sit in the opening to consider what might be (again). For me, this is called: Growth. Choosing to sit hasn't necessarily been easy, though. There have certainly been times when I've checked out, binge watching a show or two. I've had more than my share of moments when I've sat, staring at my cream-colored walls, feeling the weight of the space.

"Shouldn't I know what to do next given the insight I have on where I'm going?..." I've asked myself.

The answer? "Sure! I already have a mile-long list of next steps..." I've said to myself. (Aloud. Definitely talking to myself like this continuously more and more these days.) 

My struggle has been twofold:

One: Picking the best next step and releasing the fear that I may fail at it when I take it.

Two: Understanding that even with this long list of to-do's written out, taking action isn't necessarily the best next step because some ideas are still formulating and they need room to breathe before I execute them most effectively.

Can you relate?

When it comes to the big picture dream you have for your life (or that you might create through your life), whatever your struggle, know that you will start small. We begin by uncovering, acknowledging and then naming the dream. We move forward one small step at a time. We learn to believe the truth that we really can achieve it as we squash our fears each time we accomplish our best next step (which might just include rest so the creativity can flow). As my friend Ford often says, "It's not easy, but it is simple." We can swim around in the complicated, or we can be transformed... One simple decision at a time.

So I wonder:

Have you set aside time to consider your dreams lately?

What activities are you engaging in that are helping you to achieve them? 

If you need help along the way, I'm here. My dream involves helping you to put your feet firmly on the path to achieving your dreams by understanding your purpose... And hey, just a friendly reminder: You have what it takes to get there. I promise... 

The Next Best Practice

Have you considered that the work you're doing at this very moment, the systems you're building or tweaking, the ideas that you're conceiving and developing a strategy around could very well be next season's best practice? Imagine it! You... Cultivating an idea or a process that will help many other people... What a wonderful reality.

Business is ever-evolving. We currently stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. Let's pause. Consider them. What have we received from these women and men who influenced our lives today? I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to avoid gratitude as I process through it. Their work made it possible for us to arrive here. Incredible.

Like them, today we're doing our best. We're taking the next step, trusting that the outcome of our work will carry the vision forward and find our hopes realized. Let's take another pause. What does your picture of a fulfilled vision look like? Jot down a few of the ideas or descriptions that come to mind.

Now I want you to consider how YOU accomplish the tasks needed to see your picture come clearly into view. No one else can achieve this vision the same way you can. Consider the people you work alongside. What they bring to the table is equally as important. The way they will achieve the vision is unique and necessary. Collaboration takes us so much farther than going it alone, after all. The picture becomes more robust and gains depth. 

Take another pause. What are you or your team members doing today that's working well for you? Consider where you learned it. Consider what you've added to it or adjusted in the process. What insights have you gained? Let's mine and find the gold! 

There's a sweetness in uncovering new best practices. First, it helps us to appreciate the beauty in the 'blur.' We recognize that our lack of clarity actually acts as a catalyst for an unfolding discovery process where we adapt and create. Second, it keeps us humble. We become mindful that, just like those who came before us, our best practice will likely be tweaked or become obsolete as new generations of men and women take their positions in the marketplace. Third, our experience gives us wisdom to offer. We get to platform, encourage and equip those who will lead in the next season.

What an amazing cycle. We receive, we learn, we create and we give back. When I imagine the honor and generosity we show throughout it, I see enormous problems being solved, collaboration replacing competition and a whole lot of enjoyment in our work replacing the sense of tediousness existing in our ongoing task lists. So hey, let's get back to it. I look forward to learning from you as you develop the next best practice!