On Purpose: Meeting Needs

Spending time with friends and new acquaintances over the past few days has me thinking again about the challenges we're facing right now. If you're like me, you might be experiencing what I'll call "tragedy fatigue" as revelation after revelation has come into the light in the wake of people using their voices to speak up about what they've experienced in so many of our societal sectors like Arts, Media, Business, and Government. Truth be told, it feels terrible to feel so tired when a new story arrives on my radar online or through a conversation. I've wondered, "What and who will be next?" Abuse, abuse of power, lack of honor, inaction (or much-delayed action)... When will it end? Will we make a decision to seek genuine change and heal?

If any beauty can come through times like these, I believe it involves a willingness to walk in personal transformation and to be a people who are intentionally investing our time, talent and resources to meet needs which can create change. We're encountering deeply rooted pain and brokenness which has led to terrible, unending cycles in many sectors of our society. While this is tragic (and words fail, honestly), we are presented with a wonderful opportunity to see freedom come in our culture as we take note of how we're wired to meet needs and create solutions.

Personally, I've been spending time reflecting and refocusing on what I was made for in this life to combat the overwhelm of the bad news cycle. For me, spending time learning about people's stories and helping them to uncover what their life is all about directly translates into seeing cultural shifts into health and wholeness. Imagine each person in our society walking in healing and hope, knowing what they were made for in this life and getting freed up to live it because they deal with their demons. Imagine a world where we have safe places for people to unload what was done to them and what they've done to others so they might heal, make right what they're able to make right and move forward. These are some of the realities I dream about... I want to see people break free from the prisons they've found themselves in. I believe when people are free, they can do great things...

What about you? What do you dream about?

When you consider the needs that you're drawn to, I challenge you to imagine what the world would look like if those needs were met. How would lives be changed? Communities? Nations? 

Living on purpose is not for the weak of heart. Often, it involves us going into the places that are unlovely (tangible or intangible). It requires us to imagine and dream past what is currently true—we have to become people who see what's possible and step-by-step, make decisions to arrive there. Living on purpose motivates us to believe transformation is possible in the place of our calling and with the people we get to know therein. When we meet needs that we've been made to meet, life changes for all of us. It's amazing how interconnected we are really are, after all. When I process this truth, I'm motivated to do my part today... When I live on purpose, it changes the world for you somehow and vice versa. It's mystery and practicality mixed into one. 

So... 

• What needs are you noticing these days?
• How does the way you're investing your time, talent and resources directly meet those needs?
• Take time to think specifically (even write it out) about how you, by meeting that need, affect change in our society... That picture is going to be pretty cool... I just know it!

The world needs us to be the people we're made to be in this life. Like, today. There are so many opportunities for beauty and freedom to advance right now. Let's get to work meeting needs and creating the resolutions necessary to end bad cycles. I'm so glad to be in it with you all.

On Purpose: Getting Lost

"Are you a workaholic?" A newer friend asked with sincerity in the middle of a party.

"No, but I used to be..." I replied.

We were sitting on the sofa in our friend's house catching up a bit when the conversation went deep. I like deep, so I was in my element.

"It's really just a busy season and I knew it was coming. Now that I'm in it, I'm noticing how long my days are and how much capacity I have to accomplish again. But I am tired right now. It's a lot." I added.

She nodded and I continued, "Busy is different than what it used to be because my motives have changed as I've gotten into the roots of why I did what I did back then..."

You could say I was lost for a long time and a few years back, I began to find my footing again. I've been reflecting on this conversation as I prepared to write for the week, considering what it means to be where I am now versus where I was then.

From where I sit now, it seems I had to get lost in my work to discover who I am and what I was really made for in this life. I have an appreciation for the years I lived focusing on what people thought of me and the seasons when proving myself worthy was a way of life. I have compassion for myself in the places where I experienced gaps in real areas of need like being loved and belonging. It's fascinating to uncover what we do to fill in our own gaps in this life... And perhaps more so, amazing to learn how even the bad can shape us for good as we heal and move forward.

These days getting lost has taken on new meaning for me. Once my motives were identified and ironed out through a lot of personal transformation, I started imagining a future I knew I wanted but never knew how to cultivate. Of course, it's still a process, but getting lost here has looked a whole lot like trying new things. For one, when I left the non-profit world almost four years ago, I focused my business consultancy in a 'project management' direction and set aside major time to write the draft of my first full book manuscript. Within the first year and a half I understood that while I was employing skills that came naturally to me, I wasn't thoroughly enjoying most of the work I was taking on. It was risky to pivot my business to focus more in areas of strength and passion but I reached a point where it was more painful to stay the same than to pivot. While I'm still working hard to grow it, I can't express how worthwhile it has been to make the changes I've made. 

Getting lost has also meant that I've taken on side roles that met specific needs for me along the way. It has been so freeing to choose what I've needed instead of letting a role define me or my value. I took one position because the projects I'd taken on at the time had me working alone often. As an extrovert, I was experiencing a huge deficit in energy level which was actually negatively affecting my work. So, I opted to give quite a number of hours weekly in a job that didn't pay much, but afforded me the opportunity to work with people all of the time! While I was there, I gained insight into their organizational structure and what worked well and what didn't work well. I learned a ton. It helped me and I hope it helped them to have me there.

In another role I've recently stepped into on an interim basis, I'm learning a whole new skill set in business—accounting. Truth be told, this particular area feels like the antithesis to my natural wiring. In college, I felt like I was pretty terrible at it, actually. My grades were mediocre, at best, and I didn't think I had a knack for being able to understand it. Coursework in accounting was required to attain my marketing degree, so I couldn't avoid it. And, here I am 17.5 years later, working in a capacity where I'm learning pieces of it more intentionally. Life is funny... This might sound strange, but It's actually awesome to be in over my head. I know the work I'm doing now will help me in the future as I learn this new 'language' and better understand structural considerations for billing, payments, vendors, systems and more. It's pretty wonderful, actually (even on the days when I totally mess something up).

Getting lost here, in these side roles, has been an important piece in my journey forward. The intentionality required to get lost in order to move forward and have needs met is key. Who knows where we'll be a few years, after all? But what if we focus on what's in front of us, serving others and growing as people? A lot of good can come from putting ourselves in places and positions that are needed today—for ourselves and for others.

So...

• Have you gotten lost lately?
• What does it look like for you?
• Is it helping you to stay stuck or to move forward?

On Purpose: Your Talents

I had the privilege of experiencing a modern parable a few weeks back. Early in the morning, I arrived at a place in the city where I spend time each week. Having not planned well for breakfast, I popped into a local spot and purchased an egg and cheese biscuit. On my way in, I noticed two men outside and wondered if they'd like some breakfast. I let the thought pass for the moment, unsure if the gesture might be taken well. But even after I purchased just one, I kept thinking about purchasing a total of four biscuits and wondered why. 

A short while later, I was outside munching on mine, taking in the surrounding area while watching cars pass by as people headed to their work for the day. Another man approached from a side street and took a seat nearby. I thought, "Ah, four biscuits..." I made my way back to the restaurant and ordered the additional three. 

Taking them outside, I walked to the man who had most recently arrived. "Good morning!" I said. "I wondered if you'd like some breakfast?" He quickly pulled away from me and placed a hand up between the two of us. His "No," was firm and insistent. I felt a bit surprised, but shook my head in understanding, smiled and wished him a good day. I had three biscuits remaining.

I next approached the second man who sat on another bench close by. Repeating my greeting, he looked up, adjusted his headphones so he could hear me and I proceeded to ask my question. He looked first to me, then to the bag and shrugged his shoulders saying, "Okay." I handed him the biscuit, smiled and wished him a good day. I had two biscuits remaining.

The third man sat apart, further across the plaza. I approached him and noticed he was sleeping. Hating to interrupt but determined to offer him breakfast, I said, "Excuse me..." He woke with a start, then eased. I repeated the greeting I'd offered to the others. He leaned closer and asked a question I didn't understand at first. He softly asked again, "Do you think I should try it?" His eyes were full of kindness and curiosity. I was caught off guard by his manner and his question as I replied, "Oh yes... I mean, I think they're very good. I got it from right over there..."

Shaking his head in agreement, I smiled broadly, "Oh, there are two in here and they're both for you if you'd like them..." He accepted. I introduced myself and asked his name. Giving him the biscuits, I wished him a good day and left shortly thereafter. I had no biscuits remaining.

This entire experience got me thinking again about our talents. Each of us is offered something in this life which, in turn, gives us something to offer back. If we consider the biscuits as talents entrusted to us, like the first man, we can dismiss the invitation to take hold of them and thereby refuse the enjoyment that comes from using them.

Like the second man, perhaps some of us lay hold of our talent, but we're sort-of neutral about having it. Maybe we're glad to have the talent, but we don't think much of the gift or understand the intention behind it. Perhaps it doesn't really matter beyond what we can personally gain from it.

Like the third man, perhaps we want to know more. We show genuine curiosity and interest in the offering. We seek to understand what it is before taking hold of it with delight.

Who do you relate to in this story?

I was really inspired by the third man. He sought to relate to me over the gift and when he took it as his own, his face showed the delight of the moment. I promise that I do not hold judgment for the other two men, it's just that my experience with the third man stirred something inside of me. I honestly wished that I had more biscuits to give to him. It was a joy to be generous with him because he took interest in the gift and received it in a way that totally increased the joy of the encounter. 

My experience also caused me to reflect on what it means to reject or embrace our talents. In the first man's case, he was given nothing because he had no interest in it. Though the gift was right there for the taking and there are many ways he could have used it, not only did he refuse the offer, but he rejected any good that may have come from its acceptance. 

The second man received one talent. He could easily use it to take care of his personal need and be satisfied. He could also enjoy part and share a part of it. He immediately had at least a couple of options when it came to next steps. His decision to take hold of it mattered. It opened up new possibilities for him.

The third man gained even more talents. Given his openness that led to my desire to give him both, he was securely positioned to share what he had been given. Not only because of the number of talents he received but because he gained understanding about what he was receiving. He could take the knowledge and do even more with it.

In a way, I started with nothing, too. I was given the opportunity to step into more because I faced a personal need. That very need led me to consider the needs I noticed around me. Not only that but when my need was being met, I was again confronted by the needs of those around me and I felt more care for the people in my path. This moment was the opportunity to grasp the "more." For me, the "more" led me to greater joy, connection, and hope because it led me outside of myself and toward others. All of this from four little biscuit sandwiches... 

The beauty of all of the above is how none of it required any sort of grand plan or use of extensive resources. It required eyes to see and a willingness to connect and share. I still think I'm the one who gained the most from the experience that morning. Those men and those delicious biscuit sandwiches reminded me of the greater impact that can come when I employ my own talents in small, but purposeful ways. 

So...

• What need, large or small, is being highlighted in your life right now?
• Does anyone else around you have a similar need? (Note: You might have to guess at it/make an assumption and move outside your comfort zone to understand more.)
• What would it look like for you to employ who you are, or the talent(s) you've been given, to see your own need met as well as the needs of another?

When it comes down to it, I honestly believe that living our purpose simply involves us living with open eyes and hearts. You'll notice different things in your environment than I would. When you and I joyfully step into these places of opportunity, we offer something so unique and important to the world around us. Our talents matter. Whether time, actual abilities, resources, etc... 

As a quick aside, other people's responses don't limit your ability to offer your talents. People are where they're at for a reason. We can embrace and love them right then and there regardless of their receptivity to us. A friend of mine often says how there's always one more thing about someone else's story that we don't know... We can choose to stay in hope and joy even when the response is not what we expect (or desire). 

Now... What do you say that you and I get to work employing and sharing our talents today? I can't wait to hear what you learn and who you connect with as you step out, on purpose. 

On Purpose: Making It

"If you're not doing something you're passionate about, bring your passion into it."

—John Rivers—

A few weeks ago, I went to hear a local entrepreneur share his story on the journey into his purpose. My head ached a bit from nodding in agreement for the full hour—let's just say that I resonated deeply with his story. He shared poignant insights, including the quote above, about what it takes to make it into our purpose. It was so encouraging to hear someone who changed careers, after decades in his last, unpack how he landed right where he was meant to be. 

The main messages I felt freshly encouraged by from his talk were these:

• Often, we're motivated by realities that are in direct opposition to our actual purpose (e.g. money, security, incongruent outlook on success, etc).
• Learning ourselves takes time, but we may just find that we also know ourselves pretty well already if we're willing to take a good look in the mirror.
• Who we were in our childhood isn't so different than who we're meant to become as adults.

The truth is, we may not be currently living our exact purpose in the way it will unfold over the course of our lives. But, that doesn't mean that we cannot bring meaning and hope to our days. In fact, when we have clarity on what we're made for, we can actually inject that purpose right where we're living.

For example, when I was little I loved being with my friends, talking and looking pretty. I laugh at the latter because, well, what in the world? BUT, the truth is, a beautiful aesthetic is still of great value to me, both as a person and in the way I develop my surroundings. I love to be with people and hear their stories. It brings me joy to be helpful by seeing the people in front of me and drawing connections between who they are and how they matter to the world. People, conversation, and beauty are foundational pieces of my life today. And while I've developed a lot of clarity on my purpose over the years, simply having these three pieces of understanding to "run with" enable me to focus well in my days—they're a great launching point. 

We've talked before about the small steps it takes to achieve our goals and dreams. Living our life's purpose is not separate from this reality. We must start somewhere. Identifying what motivates and encourages us, what bothers us and what brings us life will provide a foundational understanding of where we're headed. And when we're striving for our more and taking care of ourselves along the way, we also must consider what is true of our lives in the present.

A great friend provided helpful advice for me in my early twenties. She said I ought to try as many things as possible in my career and curated experiences, in particular. It was time to explore and better learn about me. In my early thirties I had a much better understanding of who I was, but honestly, the wins and failures I'd experienced in my twenties taught me lessons that, in turn, soured my motivations. They became skewed by what I thought success should be in my life based on a pretty insecure foundation. I had these ideas of how I wanted to be viewed and what my contributions ought to mean to others. In the process, I really lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to become in vital ways. Good advice paired with an insecure me taught me a lot... 

Like John Rivers, I had an awakening but my path still wasn't clear. Over the past five to seven years, I've developed a deeper contentment with not knowing how it all turns out because I've learned who I want to be. I now know that I'm investing well in that bright future. Each step brings deeper clarity and understanding. Every new turn in the road feels like an adventure, not a new piece of uncertainty. 

My favorite phrase for my own journey has become this: Life is a great adventure! I say it as often as possible to remind myself of my choice in outlook. I've been learning to embrace what I don't know as an opportunity for learning and transformation. 

Truth be told, most days I mean it and some days are still hard. I find that no matter how happy we are about who we're becoming, from time to time we're going to encounter circumstances that challenge our contentment and hope. But, we don't make it into our purpose without challenges. We make it there by reminding ourselves of the truth and staying the course. (It also doesn't hurt to surround ourselves with people who tell us the truth on our dark days, too...) To do all of this, we have to know what the goal of the course is... After all, if we haven't defined who we're becoming, it's going to be hard to stay committed in the hard times.

And for the record, I really believe you're going to make it. I'm rooting for you. Please let me know when you'd like my help along the way.

So...

• Do you know what you were made for and what it will take for you to become that person?
• Have you ever thought about what you liked to do as a child and how that applies to life today?
• Are the current realities of your life aligned with who you want to be long-term?

Our Purpose: Personal Health

Last weekend was an absolute blur. Packed from start to finish with people plans, I marveled at my capacity to do it all. I've recently adjusted my weekly work rhythm and in this type of season, I'm typically more tired than not. But not last weekend. I felt energized, present in my life, and despite a blip of disappointment that arrived on my radar, hopeful.

Sunday morning a friend came over for coffee. I was up early to try my hand at converting my favorite protein-packed snack recipe from banana nut into pumpkin muffins. Baking away, I noticed how happy I was to be trying something new by expanding my options for a healthy on-the-go bite in my week. It was fun to be back in the kitchen and to later share those muffins, coffee, and stories with my friend.

I don't know about you, but I often experience seasons when I'm a little more aware of my physical health. My nutritional choices play a huge part in how I feel from day to day, of course, but I realize taking care of myself can be more involved than that. Personally, I like to give myself room to flex on how I maintain personal health from one season to the next. I'm someone who needs change to stay engaged. Some people need stability and more of an ongoing routine. Staying healthy has so much to do with knowing how we're wired and what is good for us in the season we're in.

My schedule change has me up between 5 and 5:30 AM these days. I had no idea how welcome this adjustment would be for me. My most alert and productive time is in the morning hours and I the shift has me working well with who I am. It has afforded me an earlier bedtime which has me feeling more rested overall. The quiet mornings have helped me to feel less rushed and more focused on what my day will become. Even after a long day of work appointments, I'm coming home and feeling energized to get out for a walk and picking up the house! And, instead of opting for more time alone after extra full days, last night I even reached out to a friend to see if she'd get out on that walk with me.

On top of this, I've been pretty aware of my sugar intake recently (including alcohol). I've decided to cut back again and focus more on eating natural sugars and getting more whole foods into my body. Don't get me wrong, you will see me with chocolate in hand here and there. I'm just choosing less of it right now. This decision has freed me up to say a good "yes" and a good "no" in my days. It has also created the space for me listen to that inner voice that tells me when I'm making a choice from a motive that will lead into life or death. All of this has left me feeling very encouraged.

If you can't tell, I'm sort of marveling at it all right now. I don't know about you, but sometimes I forget how simple it can be to have my needs met. Sometimes, a simple schedule change or the decision to give more attention to what I'm putting into my body is all I need to move forward with ease. I'm feeling freshly inspired as a result of these small adjustments. This inspiration has cultivated new ideas and solutions for the circumstances I'm facing both personally and professionally. 

To me, that's how all of this connects back to living on purpose... It's incredibly valuable to look at basic realities like our sleeping and waking time, our nutrition and our physical activity levels to make the necessary tweaks that will free us up into more energy and more hope in our days. When we're taking care of our personal health, we're positioning ourselves to create the future we're dreaming of and working towards. It's all connected. 

So...

• What practical steps are you taking to care well for yourself in the season you're in? Or: What practical steps will you take to care well for yourself in the season you're in?
• Consider the week ahead. Is there anything in your life/schedule that you will tweak to ensure you're rested, filled with energy and hope?

Take good care of yourself, won't you? You matter. Don't forget.