I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my dear friend and Founder of The Dinner Party Project (TDPP), Dana Marie Roquemore to share stories, dialogue about the Enneagram and talk purpose. If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, you can find the Cocktails & Conversations Podcast on iTunes, Spotify or right here on TDPP’s website.

It has been sweet to hear from some of you that you’ve taken time to listen—thank you! The feedback you’ve offered has been encouraging. I was surprised by what I’ll call the “main takeaway/theme” I’ve noticed through your messages. It seems that the level of vulnerability in what was shared was what stood out. And, I LOVED how the conversation was conveyed in that respect. Knowing that made my heart so happy.

While I truly believe vulnerability is something we’ve started to look at more positively in the past few years (thank you, Brené Brown and others who have gone before us to cultivate dialogue and tools to help us practice vulnerability), it can still be a challenge to live vulnerably. After all, we’re exposed when we live this way. We must own our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. We might consider this process of “ownership” as self-exposure which allows us to grow in our level of self-awareness. The outcomes of this journey tend to be quite beautiful, but the process itself is not necessarily fun or pretty. (Can I get an “Amen”? :) )

Not only that, but we must also trust that as we share what we thought, how we felt or why we behaved the way in which we behaved, that we will be received by the hearer and if we’re not received, that we will still be okay. It is RISKY to be vulnerable. We must live with a great deal of courage to do so and if you’re like me, you’re not always feeling so courageous.

One practice that’s helping me stay in my courage these days (and thereby stay in a place of vulnerability), is the simple reality that I want to live in truth as much as possible. I add the caveat “as much as possible” purposefully because, at any given time, you and I have a few blind spots and are living unaware, instead of self-aware. This is why we have friends and/or family that we love and trust—they ought to be the kind of people who tell us the truth in a loving way to help us become self-aware and wait for it, vulnerable.

And if you don’t have people in your life who love you through your stuff, holding space for you to be messy and vulnerable, I’d encourage you to do a little digging as to why that is. Sometimes we’ve been so hurt in the past that we keep people at arm’s length, sometimes we don’t want to change so we don’t want to hear anything that requires us to do so, and sometimes we’re just numb and it’s not even on our radar. I’m sure there are other “sometimes” but you get the gist … Here’s one for you, “And sometimes, ______________.”

One other way I practice courage these days is that I get to be my own friend by looking in the mirror and asking, “Hey, what’s going on with you? Why did you say that? What might have been a trigger that resulted in you behaving that way?” When I seek to help myself in this simple way, I am often amazed by what I uncover. Then, I get to go deal with the aftermath—once again, not always fun but boy is that VULNERABLE.

From me to you, let’s keep growing by living vulnerably on purpose.

P.S. If you live in the Orlando area or are planning a visit, may I suggest a wonderful experience that will allow you to practice vulnerability and courage? The Dinner Party Project is one of my absolute favorite ways to meet and connect with new people. You’ll share an amazing dinner with seven other strangers and get to know one another over the course of a few lovely hours. I highly recommend! You might even find that yours truly is the Guest Host asking you all of the questions that evening—you never know! …