Storms: The Quiet Before

Perhaps you've experienced it, too. The storm is soon upon you, but all around is calm. The flurry of activity required to prepare has ceased and as you look around, you realize you've done all that you can do. Now, you wait.

It's not that the waiting is easy, necessarily. Perhaps there's a tendency inside of you to move back into fear and anxiety, to worry about things you cannot control. The negative "What if's..." that we talked through last week might rear their ugly heads. Maybe you find a place of rest in the waiting. Still, the anticipation of the storm's arrival remains. For me, the calm before the storm has become a place in my life where I take a deep, deep breath.

My neighborhood was eerily quiet the morning before Irma arrived. Throwing on my sneakers, I headed out for a walk to get some fresh air and to see what was happening nearby. The lack of cars on the road was remarkable. The clouds swirled overhead and a notable breeze stirred tree leaves and branches into motion. All was quiet and calm. I relished the peacefulness, honestly. Irma was coming and there wasn't anything else I could do except await her arrival.

I felt so connected to my surroundings, aware of my feelings and alert on my walk that morning. It was like each cell within me was awake, taking notice of every detail. The air was cool and had a slight dampness about it. The construction near my house was put on hold and the tractors sat neatly on the lot ready for their next use. Police helicopters flew overhead capturing information from their bird's eye view, keeping all in check. 

In our culture, we don't often talk about surrender. If we do, it can carry a negative connotation. But I've been learning that as the storm approaches, surrender is one of the greatest postures I can choose. It's why I got out on that walk, actually. I realized that my preparation was complete and there was nothing left for me to do.

In surrender, I recognize what I can and cannot control. I choose not to worry about things that I cannot control. I activate the faith inside of me to tackle the fear I might experience. I rest—I actually choose to lay myself down knowing that all I can do now is ride out the coming storm. I get in touch with what is most important again. I remember that things can be replaced. I remember that I really won't know how it all turns out until the storm passes, but I can choose to weather it well. 

The calm before the storm affords me a wonderful opportunity to be. I get to relax into the quiet. I get to savor the sweetness of the space. Isn't it interesting how in the moments leading up to a storm, we experience a tangible stillness? I honestly believe this stillness exists to heighten our awareness of what's real and what's on the horizon. It's a place where we can see. So often, we do see the scary and the negative. But again, what if we focused on what we have and released what isn't within our grasp?

Last week, I flew out west and along the way I noticed thunderclouds gathering to form a storm. Their peaks were tall and beautiful. Sitting above them from my perch in the plane, I wondered what it would look like if we viewed storms from this vantage point consistently. What if we saw ourselves above them? What if we knew that even at their worst, we have the ability to rise above? We have the ability to choose this perspective in the calm.

So...

• What is the calm before the storm like for you?
• What do you notice about where your thoughts and your energy go?
• Do you find yourself at rest or reengaging with fear and anxiety?
• What would life look like if you viewed yourself above each storm that formed on the horizon? 
• How could this shift in perspective help you?

I'd love to hear your thoughts... 

Ignite Your Purpose

Sitting at a restaurant surrounded by some of the most wonderful ones who had gathered to celebrate my birthday this past week, a friend leaned over the table and asked:

"What moment or experience stands out as you think about your last year of life?"

Thinking quickly back over the months, I couldn't recall any specific item that stood out above the rest until I remembered this: I finally wrote out my vision, mission and purpose statements. Sharing this response, I felt surprised by how much it has mattered. But in the days since, as I've continued to consider my answer to her question, I've realized how the decision to create clarity on where I'm going has been a nothing short of a game changer for me. 

Back in the summer of 2015, I traveled up to the Northeast for a number of weeks. My time was spent celebrating friends at their wedding, studying and accomplishing research for some of the work I was preparing to step into, and soaking in time with friends in Boston. During my weeks in the city, I set aside a half day at the Boston Public Library—oh, I love it so—to capture my thoughts on where I was headed. Instead of clean statements, I found myself with loads of bullet points that painted a picture of what it would look like when I got where I was going, plus overarching ideas of what my life would become. While this part of the process helped, it still left me lacking genuine clarity.  

Fast forward to winter, 2016-2017. I had been working to tighten up the processes I walk clients through when I realized I still hadn't cleaned up my own focus. This time around, I set aside a full day for a whiteboard session and didn't leave until I captured each of my statements. I vividly remember sitting on a red chair in the empty, low-lit room, whiteboard straight ahead, with tears in my eyes as I absorbed three distinct lines written on that board that outlined what I was made to do and why it mattered. At once, it was as if I had known these truths all along, but hadn't realized them all the same. I don't quite know how to put it into words, but I understood then that this simple act was already showing me what I was to say "Yes" to and what I was to say "No" to, and it felt amazing.

Here's a question I posed on a post yesterday:

What ignites you? 

See, the things that ignite me are likely different than those that stir your passion. When each of us identifies what it is that wakes us up into alertness, tugs at our sense of justice, drives our care or compassion, brings us hope, and motivates us to action we have the ability to change the world. Genuinely. Your life matters. Your purpose matters. Your decision to clarify and live your purpose matters.

This isn't new, it's just a reminder. When we know what we're made for, we have the opportunity to create days and weeks and months and years filled with activities that are focused and filled with intentionality. We don't swirl around not knowing what we're giving our time to and why. Rather, we get up in the morning with clarity on how we are embracing the day ahead and giving our very best within it. 

This past year, I've made countless decisions differently because I've brought clarity to my purpose. I've experienced a newfound freedom to release things I care about in order to invest myself in the things I care MOST about in my days. Do you know the difference between those two realities in your own life? I'll tell you what, it's amazing when we learn it. Because, when we do, we're on the path to making our very BEST contribution. I'll tell you another what, I speak for myself here, but I think it's vital for everyone: You living in your best contribution means the world is a better place for me! And, in kind, when I live my best contribution, I make the world a better place for you!

Imagine every person on the planet doing what they are made to do. We'd all be so much better off... Isn't the simplicity of that astounding?

Yet often, as we've talked about recently, we let the world inform our standards of success and how we arrive there. Instead of buying into a worldview that leaves us both empty and constantly trying to fill up the emptiness, why not take a good look at what brings you life? The road to success and the way your success will matter for all of us begins there. 

Here's the thing, I want you to be WILDLY successful in your life. I want you to be so happy. I want you to live in a way that makes a difference in our world—a world, by the way, that is in need of so much hope and transformation right now. We need YOU to win at being YOU. So, please, please, please... Live on purpose.

If you happen to be standing still in the standstill, like we talked about last week, knowing your purpose can be key in helping you regain your courage and strength while you rest and wait. Don't lose heart. You are valuable. Even if you can't take the next step right now, remember why you're standing there (even if it's only because you're not willing to turn around and go back from whence you came). 

When you're ready to figure out what it looks like to bring clarity to your "Why" please let me make my best contribution by helping you... It brings me so much life to see you own your life and discover why it matters. I feel delighted as I imagine thousands upon thousands of people knowing and living their purpose. It's a beautiful movement that results in a bright future for us all.

Now, while I go do a bit more prep for the arrival of Hurricane Irma (please stay safe, everyone!), you can reach out to me here. 

Life in the In-Between

Summertime throughout my childhood was marked by make-believe play, tv, drinking pop and afternoon thunderstorms. Mom and Dad both worked, and when we were old enough we were left in the capable hands of ourselves, under the supervision of my older brother. I have so many memories of those summers, but the thunderstorms stand out the most.

Day in and out, thunderheads would form high in the sky above us. The landscape would grow darker and darker as one set of menacing clouds joined another, forming one gigantic storm. The Rockies would change before our eyes, becoming less majestic and more foreboding. Then the thunder would begin with its powerful rumbles signifying the unleashing of the weather upon us. Bolts of lightning would light up the interior of the thunderheads and at times, shoot down beneath the cloud cover to strike where they may.  

Our German Shepherd would fight his way into the house and into the bathroom tub or down into the basement. He and I shared the same sentiment: "Get me out of here!" I'd run to the large window of our walk-out basement, facing the rolling range of the back acreage, to trace the line of clouds as far as my eyes could see to determine whether the familiar circular motion of a funnel cloud was forming or not. I'd watch the colors, hoping they stayed gray, free of the green haze that came from the atmospheric change signaling the possibility of a tornado.

When I caught a glimpse of a low, straight line along the cloud horizon that seemed likely to form a funnel, I'd run the 30 steps to my bedroom and prepare for the worst. Pulling my comforter, stuffed animals, pillows, Bible and a flashlight into my closet, I'd shut myself in and pray. Where were my siblings? I have no idea. I'd lose track of the reality that I wasn't physically alone, somehow. At the end of a storm, I'd resurface and trace the lines in the clouds, once again, to ensure all was safe. Life would go back to normal, on that side of the storm.

Growing older, I noticed how my posture towards these storms changed. In fact, I've grown to love and appreciate thunderstorms. There's something about the build up, the anticipation of the storm. When it comes, there's a release. The atmosphere shifts, often bringing cooler temperatures and a deep sigh. No doubt that storms can create damage, but this truth doesn't diminish the reality that there's something awe-inspiring about them. When they're over, I've seen how I have fresh perspective and appreciation for my life—just as it is.

I've been thinking a lot about storms as they pertain to our lives this week. We're standing in one piece of land for a time, then a storm moves through and gives us the opportunity to reflect on what we want, what we value. The aftermath has this way of revealing what we internalized in the middle of it, in the waiting. We see our lives and the land differently after waiting out a storm. 

Yesterday, a friend shared another metaphor with me— this one, involving archery. She shared how the arrow has to be pulled back to the place of greatest tension before it can be released in order to hit its target. When it's not pulled back far enough, it lacks the momentum required to make it to the bullseye. And, when a person isn't lined up correctly and releases the arrow too soon, it also results in a miss. Tension and timing are everything. 

Often, we don't want to experience the tension, or the storm for that matter. It's uncomfortable to stay put, so maybe we jump in too soon or hide away hoping it'll pass. Maybe we don't embrace the tension to the fullest extent because it's just too hard to stay in it. Mixed metaphors aside, today, I'm encouraging us to stay. 

New "seeing" awaits us on the other side of the storms we face in our lives. Perhaps we have the new ground in clear view, just ahead. Maybe we're wondering what it takes to cross the threshold, but we're experiencing the tension of being pulled back tightly in the waiting. We don't want to release the arrow too soon. We want it to hit the bullseye.

The waiting itself might seem like a storm. But, perhaps things aren't correctly lined up just yet. Wouldn't we rather wait so we might actually hit our target? Waiting can feel unproductive and painful. Believe me when I tell you that I live the reality of this truth regularly. I like to achieve and when I see the green lights in a direction, I'm ready to go. To be held back by a storm, or the appearance of a storm, feels awful. But, then I remember the beautiful aftermath... 

The air clears, there's a fresh vitality to the land and all of that build up created space for a wonderful release. Each time I take a step forward from this place, I really do experience gratitude—it's cultivated in me through the process. I find myself saying, "If only I had known..." 

So today, I remind you that you do know. You've been here before and you made it. It's not that you didn't struggle or that you walked away without being affected by the experience, but you lived. I think that's the point.

Life is full of tension and storms. What matters is our view of them and what we allow them to accomplish in us. We cannot take new ground in our lives without this tension and without the storms. They actually show us what we're made of and give us the opportunity to authentically live from that place by showing us what we really, really want. Not only that, but they reveal who we really are at the core.

So...

• Where are you experiencing a storm today? 
• What do you think about it? What do you feel about it? 
• What would it mean for the trajectory of your life if you willingly stayed the course through the tension you're experiencing there? 
• Will you? 

Rhythms of Rest

Typing out that title and this post feel a bit ironic today. My past week has been anything but restful with work commitments, the wonderful wedding of a cherished sister-friend and loads of personal to-do's that remain undone. Can you relate? Reading that short phrase again, something wells up in me... Rhythms of rest. It is an invitation that offers me the opportunity to take a deep breath today and I invite you to join me.

Here's a little activity to engage for a few extended seconds:

• Breathe for three rounds of breath.
• Maybe even close your eyes. 
• Deep inhale; extended exhale. Again. Again.

Did you think of anything? What did that feel like? I found myself wanting more time there. You? 

I've been thinking about our dialogue about the hustle again this week and have added a new reflection to the mix. I find it interesting how we hustle, hustle, hustle and simultaneously live for the weekend. We count the days down until we're done—until we can rest or do something we really want to be doing—then we hustle some more. And maybe some of us who live with the hustle mindset never really wait for the weekend because we're still hustling when we arrive there. 

What do you think? Is that true for you or people in your life? If I consider my choices this past week, I fall into both categories. This led me to further consider my actual activities and where my decisions led me. Here's what I've uncovered:

• I'm physically exhausted.
• I'm behind on a lot of stuff and have questions about how I'm practically going to stay focused and organized in order to get it all done.
• I haven't set aside enough time for my spiritual practices and I feel a little wonky.
• I miss my friends and need good connecting points right now.
• I've allowed some of my time to be swallowed up in analyzing relational realities and unfinished business instead of creating solutions and taking action.

I encourage you to take a few moments to quiet yourself and jot down a few thoughts of your own.

• What do you notice as you consider your activities from this past week?
• If you could recap your week by describing any tension you might be experiencing in a single sentence, what would you say? 

I'd say: I'm so physically drained that it's hard to be present and get things done because I just want to sleep, BUT I feel tension about taking the time to sleep because I have so much to do! Gah!

Does that resonate with anyone out there? Even if your tension is different, I imagine it has something to do with what you think you need to do and what is actually needed. This can be a place where we get stuck and then maybe we keep hustling just to keep the hustle alive instead of embracing a mindset and rhythm of rest.

So here's a question to consider... Where will I make space in my daily life to uncover where my decisions are leading me? I can break it down further by asking myself:

1. What am I doing right now?
2. Why am I doing that?
3. Where is this decision/activity leading me?
4. Is what I'm doing right now getting me where I want to be?
5. If not, what step will I take to get there in the healthiest way possible?

Choosing to live in this way creates a posture that ensures I'm resting well into my decisions by living with intentionality in my little yes's and no's. These decisions extend into my thought-life:

• What am I saying yes to in my thoughts?
• What am I saying no to in my thoughts?

Every day we make agreements inside of our heads. Our feelings follow these agreements. Our actions follow these feelings.

• Where are your thoughts leading you?
• Do they lead to a posture of hustle?
• Do they lead to a posture of rest?

In the long run, I think we actually accomplish more by taking stock of our thoughts and the postures they create in our lives, making decisions from there. I have definite room for improvement as I consider my last week. What about you?  

Start Small (Your Hang-ups Part 2)

In the midst of processing and writing about my own hang-ups last week, I had a meeting with a friend to connect about life and work. Our normal 75-90 minutes morphed into four and a half hours after one of her colleagues stopped by to say hi. A flood of questions and ideas surrounding my work emerged as we chatted and chatted and chatted some more.

Have you ever experienced one of these "set-ups"—a place in time when an unplanned experience occurs and it's just the right thing at the right moment?

Well, a set-up this was, indeed.

Our conversation took so many twists and turns, but one key item he pointed out to me, a true piece of "seeing" on his part, was how what I'm really, really interested in is helping people. This I know, of course (it is part of my mission statement, after all—ha!), but his sense of it was that I was overly focused on "business-y" tasks. He encouraged me to take my mission deeper by reconsidering how I'm framing my own view and outline of what I'm up to each and every day. Instead of focusing on "business," what would it mean to focus on the people themselves? How might a renewed focus strengthen my objectives? For someone who met me, at that moment in the dialogue, like 30 minutes before, I felt astounded and encouraged by the insight. And, he was right.

Last week, I introduced a list of my hang-ups. In one way or another, I've noticed (again) how a lack of self-confidence, doubt, is at the root of what's hanging me up. I've been living in fear of really, really putting myself "out there." Have you ever felt nervous about letting people see you up close? In my life, allowing people to know me is a big part of where I'm going, but it also means that others may see more of me than I might anticipate or even like. Plus, any mistakes I make along the way are likely to be seen clearly. This fear has resulted in putting myself only half-way into the proverbial arena (who doesn't want to engage a little wisdom from Bréne Brown today?)... But here I was, standing with a near-stranger who was championing me to go all the way in... 

And, when I left their office that day, I made a video and posted it to my Facebook page to talk about our conversation. I recorded it in one take. I didn't concern myself with "perfect." My face was shiny and my hair, frizzy from Orlando summer. The angle wasn't the most flattering and I hoped and prayed that I would make some sense. You know what? It was awesome. It was done. It was out there. It was me, being me in a breakthrough moment that I can look back on and celebrate now.

So here's the question: What does it take to overcome our hang-ups?

Beyond the first step of actually identifying them, our next opportunity is to step out in confidence by doing the thing we might not do if we were allowing the hang-up to rule us. Is it really that easy, you ask? Well, easy it is not because if it were easy, we wouldn't be hung up.

Simple, however, simple it is. Overcoming our hang-ups begins with a decision to change our minds about the things we're struggling with, then we practice. We take action and see how it goes! We may utterly fail. We might do okay. We might win big. Who knows? Well, we will know as we step out and DO.

So...

1. Revisit your answers to last week's questions on your hang-ups.
2. Next, identify one item in your life where you're currently hung up.
3. Write out how you can practice moving through your hang-up. Maybe you need to initiate a conversation with someone. Perhaps you need to complete something on your list—done is good! Or, maybe you, too must create a video and post it somewhere (or take a selfie...). Or, apply for that job opportunity. Or... 
4. Then, go do the thing. See how it goes. 
5. And, tell me about it. I'd love to hear how it went...

If you're not sure of a step you can take, reach out to me. We can come up with an idea together! I'm all about healthy solutions... Let's move forward and LIVE, friends. Let's hang up our hang-ups!

Let's Love Like Never Before

Our long season of political mayhem comes to a head today and as I reflect on where we've been and where we're going, I offer you a bit of beauty and an invitation. Would you join me in living and loving well today and tomorrow and the day after and so on? Would you join me as I seek to listen to the people around me and understand their hopes and fears and their stories? Would you join me as I set aside my pre-drawn conclusions to deeply embrace someone with whom I don't agree? 

I brunched with friends on Sunday as we celebrated the life of someone we love. Around that table were people from different backgrounds and perspectives. In my little corner of the table, we talked about living with wisdom, in freedom as our authentic selves and with a willingness to really, really love. If we say we love but offer that love conditionally, it really isn't love, after all. 

Don't get me wrong, it's a tall order to love someone we vehemently disagree with, no matter the party or group or nation. It requires courage and maturity to love without condition. To always hope. To always choose to see something good. When we fail to love unconditionally, we wind up doing the very thing we hate. We dehumanize another and thereby, dehumanize ourselves. Evil we must hate. People we must love.

I think today is for more questions, curiosity, genuine care and interest in another than ever before. If we lived this way as individuals each and every day, I think our lives and our world would look very different. Instead of walking in offense or being ready to pounce on a potential offense, feasting on what is offered to us through media and assuming motive and intention when we don't have an up-close view or understanding, we can choose to believe the best. We can choose to ask questions. We can choose to offer genuine care for another. 

Tomorrow will come. I wish to greet it with open arms no matter what the outcome of this day. Because in the end, we're all in this together. Let's bring beauty into our relational interactions, let's be clothed in kindness and grace, let's allow mercy to be our guide and let's love. Let's love like never before.