Start Small (Your Hang-ups Part 2)
In the midst of processing and writing about my own hang-ups last week, I had a meeting with a friend to connect about life and work. Our normal 75-90 minutes morphed into four and a half hours after one of her colleagues stopped by to say hi. A flood of questions and ideas surrounding my work emerged as we chatted and chatted and chatted some more.
Have you ever experienced one of these "set-ups"—a place in time when an unplanned experience occurs and it's just the right thing at the right moment?
Well, a set-up this was, indeed.
Our conversation took so many twists and turns, but one key item he pointed out to me, a true piece of "seeing" on his part, was how what I'm really, really interested in is helping people. This I know, of course (it is part of my mission statement, after all—ha!), but his sense of it was that I was overly focused on "business-y" tasks. He encouraged me to take my mission deeper by reconsidering how I'm framing my own view and outline of what I'm up to each and every day. Instead of focusing on "business," what would it mean to focus on the people themselves? How might a renewed focus strengthen my objectives? For someone who met me, at that moment in the dialogue, like 30 minutes before, I felt astounded and encouraged by the insight. And, he was right.
Last week, I introduced a list of my hang-ups. In one way or another, I've noticed (again) how a lack of self-confidence, doubt, is at the root of what's hanging me up. I've been living in fear of really, really putting myself "out there." Have you ever felt nervous about letting people see you up close? In my life, allowing people to know me is a big part of where I'm going, but it also means that others may see more of me than I might anticipate or even like. Plus, any mistakes I make along the way are likely to be seen clearly. This fear has resulted in putting myself only half-way into the proverbial arena (who doesn't want to engage a little wisdom from Bréne Brown today?)... But here I was, standing with a near-stranger who was championing me to go all the way in...
And, when I left their office that day, I made a video and posted it to my Facebook page to talk about our conversation. I recorded it in one take. I didn't concern myself with "perfect." My face was shiny and my hair, frizzy from Orlando summer. The angle wasn't the most flattering and I hoped and prayed that I would make some sense. You know what? It was awesome. It was done. It was out there. It was me, being me in a breakthrough moment that I can look back on and celebrate now.
So here's the question: What does it take to overcome our hang-ups?
Beyond the first step of actually identifying them, our next opportunity is to step out in confidence by doing the thing we might not do if we were allowing the hang-up to rule us. Is it really that easy, you ask? Well, easy it is not because if it were easy, we wouldn't be hung up.
Simple, however, simple it is. Overcoming our hang-ups begins with a decision to change our minds about the things we're struggling with, then we practice. We take action and see how it goes! We may utterly fail. We might do okay. We might win big. Who knows? Well, we will know as we step out and DO.
- Revisit your answers to last week's questions on your hang-ups.
- Next, identify one item in your life where you're currently hung up.
- Write out how you can practice moving through your hang-up. Maybe you need to initiate a conversation with someone. Perhaps you need to complete something on your list—done is good! Or, maybe you, too must create a video and post it somewhere (or take a selfie...). Or, apply for that job opportunity. Or...
- Then, go do the thing. See how it goes.
- And, tell me about it. I'd love to hear how it went...
If you're not sure of a step you can take, reach out to me. We can come up with an idea together! I'm all about healthy solutions... Let's move forward and LIVE, friends. Let's hang up our hang-ups!